Families come in many shapes and sizes. For children in foster care, maintaining relationships with everyone they care about can be a challenge. That’s why foster parents play such an important role in supporting children to spend time with their birth family.
Do foster children stay in touch with their birth families?
People who don’t know much about fostering can sometimes be surprised to learn that the ultimate goal of fostering is not separation, but reunification. While there are many children who stay in foster care on a long-term basis, Local Authorities and fostering agencies like ours aim for children to be able to return to live with their families in a safe, happy environment.
In most cases care-experienced children will remain in some form of contact with their birth families, whether it be with their parents, siblings or other loved ones like grandparents and friends. Family time helps to minimise the disruption to children’s lives while keeping their relationships and sense of identity intact.
The importance of sibling relationships
Sibling relationships are particularly important for children in care. Wherever possible, we aim to match children with families who can accommodate them with their siblings. When a child has a loved and trusted person by their side during the difficult transition of moving in with a new family, it can help them to settle in and begin to see their new home as a safe, familiar place.
What are a foster parents’ responsibilities around family time?
As a foster parent caring for a child who’s in touch with their family, you must…
- Support your foster child to have family contact. Each child will have their own arrangements set out in their care plan for how often they see family members. You might need to be available to drive your foster child to visit their family, which will often take place in a supervised environment such as a family centre. You may also be involved in keeping your child’s social worker up-to-date on how visits with their family have been going.
- Be your foster child’s pillar of support. Often times the run-up to and aftermath of a visit can be a time of distress or confusion. Some children may really look forward to seeing their family members and become upset when it’s time to leave, while others might become anxious or dysregulated at the idea of seeing relatives. They may also be left very upset if a visit they’ve been looking forward to is cancelled unexpectedly. You’ll need to be a pillar of stability to help them navigate any challenging emotions which may arise.
- Engage with training. Because of the emotional weight which often accompanies family time, we offer specific trauma-informed training on managing emotions and how to build great relationships with families to give you all of the tools you’ll need to be the best foster parent you can be.
Tips for engaging with your foster child’s birth family
- Work in partnership with professionals. In order to have safe and successful contact with family members, it’s important to follow the lead of the social workers involved and to always abide by what has been decided in your foster child’s care plan. If any concerns arise around contact, don’t hesitate to raise them with your foster child’s social worker and your own personal supervising social worker. If you need any extra support, our team is always available for you via our 24/7 helpline.
- Be empathetic. Oftentimes it can be hard for foster parents to connect with their child’s birth family, especially knowing the challenges your young person may have faced at home. When navigating contact, it’s always important to centre the needs of your foster child, and to treat your foster child’s family with empathy.
You can do this by being respectful and using compassionate language when interacting with family members or talking with children about their loved ones, not letting your own personal feelings colour your interactions.
- Be mindful in your interactions. On the flip side, being overly familiar with family members may cause some children to feel insecure in their relationship with you, particularly if they have faced abuse or neglect at home. Some children may deal with mixed feelings about seeing their family members, or may feel that they must choose between their birth family and their foster family. You can help to ease these feelings by reassuring your foster child that it’s okay for them to be part of more than one family. Let them know that your role is to support them, not to replace anyone, and that however they feel about family time is valid and okay.
Are you ready to foster in the West Midlands?
We’re a friendly local fostering agency with an emphasis on creating deep connections between children and their foster families. If you feel you could be a great candidate to join the Clifford House team, contact us today to learn more about the incredible work you could do to change children’s lives.